Practical Tips:
The Daily Homework Assignment Sheet (found in most schools counseling offices) is a simple tool that provides parents the necessary information about their child’s homework. Parent must withhold the activities their child wants, (such as watching TV or talking on the telephone), until the homework is complete. Parents who use the Daily Homework Assignment Sheet and control their child’s list of activities are usually successful in helping children improve their grades and self-discipline.
Contacts:
Communicating with teachers at parent-teacher conferences and through e-mails are great ways to check your child’s progress.
Practical Tips:
Arguments usually occur when we parents confront our kids about their negative behaviors, or tell them "no" to something they want, or when they tell us "no" to something we want them to do – like homework or a household chore.
Parents should:Remain calm and listen to our kid.
Return to the original reasons for the confrontation and express our concern.
Make clear the expectations for behavior and clarify the rules.
Identify the consequences (withhold the activities the kid wants)
End on a positive note: "I know you are more than capable; I have faith in you; I know you can do this."
Contacts:
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors Network for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
If you think your child may be struggling with depression, you can read through the signs of depression and check off those that seem to apply to your child. If they have several signs, then make an appointment with your family doctor. Depression can either be treated with a change in diet and exercise or with medication.
Contacts:
Dirne Clinic (for those without medical insurance) 208-292-0292
Learning the warning signs of depression in young people.
What is depression?
- Mood disorder (a chemical imbalance in the brain)
- Can occur in anyone (8-12% occurrence in adolescents)
- Dangerous if left untreated (3rd leading cause of death in 15-25 yr. olds)
- (Idaho is 5th in nation in suicide rate among 15-25)
- High response rate to treatment (80% go untreated)
Here is a list of questions to ask someone who may be struggling with depression.
[ ] Depressed mood
[ ] Difficulty concentrating
[ ] Eating problems
[ ] Sleep problems
[ ] Lack of pleasure
[ ] Restlessness or [ ] lack of energy
[ ] Recurring though of suicide
[ ] Excessive crying, complaining, whining
[ ] Irritability, unprovoked hostility or aggression
[ ] Low tolerance for frustration
[ ] Drop in grades
[ ] Low self esteem, [ ] shyness, [ ] social isolation
[ ] Self-destructive behavior [ ] cutting [ ] running away
[ ] Disorganization, [ ] inattention to appearance
[ ] Exhaustion, [ ] physical complaints
[ ] Family history of depression
[ ] Previously depressed
[ ] Stressful or [ ] traumatic experiences, [ ] death
[ ] Inconsistent or unstable care-giving by parents
[ ] Substance abuse
[ ] Family illness, [ ] divorce, or [ ] other disruption
[ ] Poor social skills, [ ] unpopularity
If they answer yes to many of these symptoms, please have them consult with a doctor.
The tow types of treatment. One is medications that will alter brain chemicals to bring them back into balance. And the second is counseling which can help them express their feelings, learn new thinking & behavior patterns and family therapy can help parents learn to cope.
Practical Tips:
There are several methods of discipline for a variety of behaviors. If the one you are using is not working, you may want to check our list of family resources. However, here is one simple, practical and effective method that provides structure to change behavior. (Keep in mind that catching your child doing something right and acknowledging them for it does more to change behavior than anything else).
Step 1. Have your child come up with a list of everything they have and enjoy, then write it down on the left side of a paper:
Child’s List
TV
Video games
Friends
Phone
Computer
Youth group
Music
Sports
Job
Shopping
Parent’s List
Go to school
Do homework
Do chores
Be respectful
Step 2. You come up with a list of everything you want them to do, then write it down on the right side of the paper.
Step 3. When your child does everything on your list, he or she gets everything on their list. However, if the fail to do anything on your list, they lose everything on their list for 24 hours. Then they start again with a clean slate. (The only things you don’t take away are those things that are positive in their life such as sports, youth group and work).
Contacts:
Recommended web-links: Focus on the Family www.family.org
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors Network for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
Students who drop out of school not only have difficulty competing in the job market, they are at a higher risk of getting involved in a variety of other problem behaviors. Parents
Contacts:
The Bridge Academy 208-667-0319
GED 208-676-8005
Job Corpse 509-534-2269
Practical Tips:
(Also see "Anger" and "Violence")
One helpful method in attempting to resolve conflicts within the family is using the method called the 5-A’s. Each person in the conflict can take turns doing the following:
Admit fault (I need to own up to what I said or did)
Apologize for how I made you feel (I need to confess how my actions or words made you feel)
Accept the consequences (I need to accept whatever consequences my actions or words deserve)
Alter my choice for the future (I need to state how I will choose to say or do things more maturely next time)
Ask for forgiveness (I need to ask you to forgive me)
Contacts:
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
When your child exhibits disrespect (in the left column), then have them guess what the opposite respectful behavior is (in the right column) and give an example. Then have them go through the 5-A’s (see above) with the person they were disrespectful to.
Disrespect
Put others down
Says rude remarks
Hurts others
Makes excuses
Makes demands
Teases others
Complains
Interrupts
Wants attention on self
Avoids cooperation
Happy with others mistakes
Tries to be tough
Gives least amount of effort
Respect
Compliments others
Makes positive comment
Helps others
Makes suggestions
Asks requests
Encourages others
Appreciates
Listens
Pays attention to others
Attempts to cooperate
Happy with others success
Shows compassion
Gives best effort
Contacts:
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
When you child is charged with a crime, it is recommended that you seek legal counsel.
Contacts:
Eric Smith (a Christian attorney) 208-667-2000
Tim VanValin 208-687-3615
Practical Tips:
If you suspect your child has a mental disorder, you can contact a mental health professional to have a mental health assessment done.
Contacts:
Children’s Mental Health 208-769-1515
North Idaho Christian Counselors
Practical Tips:
If your child is involved in a negative peer relationship, such as: a destructive dating relationship; gang affiliation; or associates with friends caught up in risky behaviors; you can use the form of discipline used in "Discipline" above.
Contacts:
Consult with any of the School Resource Officers
Consult the North Idaho Christian Counselors Network for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
If your child thinks they are pregnant, have her take a home pregnancy test, or consult with your family physician.
Contacts:
Open Arms Pregnancy Clinic offers pregnancy counseling services 208-667-5433.
Practical Tips:
If your child threatens to run away, avoid comments like: "Don’t let the door hit you on the way out." If your child does run away: call the police (file a report); call the parents of every friend your child has (ask that your child not be allowed to spend the night); contact the school (ask that they notify you if they show up on campus); and remove all of your child’s clothing & valuables (to keep them from coming back while you are gone to obtain clothing and money so they can stay away for longer periods of time).
Contacts:
Call the city or county police.
Practical Tips:
If your child is experiencing same sex attraction, you can find national a local support.
Contacts:
Exodus International offers a variety of resources, including counseling, for those experiencing same sex attraction as well as for family members.
Exodus International
888-264-0877
Practical Tips:
If your child has been sexually abused, report it to the city or county police immediately.
Contacts:
The Kootenai County "Victims Assistance Program" can offer financial assistance to help with needed counseling services. 208-446-1800
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors Network for further assistance.
Practical Tips:
If you suspect or know your child is involved in substance use or abuse you can use the intervention process listed in "Discipline" above.
Contacts:
You can purchase drug test at most grocery stores or Idaho Drug Free Youth 208-664-4883.
Powder Basis Associates 208-762-3979 and Port of Hope 208-664-3300 offers drug & alcohol counseling services.
Practical Tips:
If your child has threatened suicide, take them to the Emergency room at KMC. If they will not go voluntarily, call the police and have them take your child to KMC.
Contacts:
KMC has a Psyche Unit called North Idaho Behavioral Health that assess and treat those who are suicidal.
Practical Tips:
If your child becomes violent, call your city or county police and report it. (This is domestic violence).
Contacts:
Consult with the North Idaho Christian Counselors Network for further assistance.
North Idaho Christian Counselors' Network
Poignant Possibilities 208-665-5704 1420 Lincoln Way Ste. 500, CDA, ID
Darwin & Raquel Kellicut - Individual/Marriage & Family Counseling
Genesis Associates
208-664-1606
421 Coeur d’Alene Ave, Coeur d’Alene, ID
Mark Cornelius - Marriage/Family/ Mental Health
Bob Henninger - Marriage/Family/Mental Health
Nancy Billington - Marriage/Family/Mental Health
Linda Strahan - Marriage/Women/Mental Health
Amy Voeller - Children & Family Counseling
Northland Counseling Services* 208-772-2537 410 E. Sherman Ave. Ste. 315, CDA, ID
Chris Wright - Christian Counseling *Has sliding fee scale
Cornerstone Counseling
1874 N. Lakewood Dr., Ste. 203 Coeur d' Alene, ID
Teresa Mathers - Children & Family Counseling - 208-691-3707
Doug Grace - Child/Adolescent/Family Counseling - 208-755-9034
North Lakes Family Center
208-664-5841
611 Lakeside Ave, Coeur d’Alene, ID
Michael & Cathi Marceau, - Marriage & Family Counseling
Crosswinds Counseling
208-699-8044 610 Hayden Lake Rd. Hayden, ID
Dr. Mark Bullock - Marriage / Family / Women / Teens / Mental Health
O'Neil Mediation Services 208-691-2215 118 N. 7th St.
Gary O'Neil - Christian Mediation
Help Center Counseling Services 208-765-2407 1520 W. Appleway, CDA, ID
Ron Vieselmeyer - Family/Marriage & Financial Counseling
Deb Ferguson Counseling & Consulting
208-964-5522
1810 Schneidmiller Ave. Suite 101-A, Post Falls, ID
Deb Ferguson - Marriage/Children/Family/Women/Teens
Center for Human Development
208-664-9429
1802 N. 15th, Cda, ID
Dr. Tim Stoddard - Psychiatrist
Foundations 4 Living
509-535-4179 2607 S. Ray, Spokane, WA
Doug Brecto - Marriage & Chronic Medical Conditions Counseling
Genesis Counseling Center of N. I.
208-623-4200 6147 Main St. Ste. 9, Spirit Lake, ID
Dr. L.D.Green - Christian Counseling
North Idaho Treatment Association 208-664-3282 302 N. 5th, CDA, ID
Tom Hearn - Christian Counseling
Dirne Clinic (for those without insurance) 208-292-0292
Glenn Vaughn - Christian Counseling
SCHOOL COUNSELORS
Lake City High School
208-769-2942
Bev Chambers - School Counselor
Jillian Rowley - Student Assistant Counselor
Mark Bullock - School Counselor
Coeur d’Alene High School
208-667-4509
Greg Sommers - Student Assistant Counselor
Coeur d’Alene Charter Academy
208-676-1667
Jim Schaffer - School Counselor
Ramsey Elementary School
208-765-2010
Dwight McCain - School Counselor
Dalton Elementary School
208-772-5264
Tami Frantzich - School Counselor
John Brown Elementary School208-687-0551
Mullan Elementary School
208-457-0772
David Satterthwaite - School Counselor
Borah Elementary School
208-664-5844
Rebecca Murphy - School Counselor
Juvenile Justice Outreach
208-660-3168
Jeff Cheeseborough - Juvenile Chaplin